Related:

• Bart: Wow. Bein' in show business is like a dream.
  We're really lucky, aren't we? Workman: I wish I was dead....
• COONDOG MEMORY (heard in Rutledge, Missouri, about eighteen years ago) Now
  his dog is for sale, and she can not only follow a trail twice as old as the average dog can, but she's got a pretty good memory to boot....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• My girlfriend and I sure had a good time at the beach last summer.
  First she'd bury me in the sand, then I'd bury her....
• It was raining heavily, and the motorist had car trouble on a lonely country road.
  Anxious to find shelter for the night, he walked over to a farmhouse and knocked on the front door....
• Breast feeding is popular now. It wasn't when I was growing up.
  In high school, my mom caught me with an inflatable sex doll....
• Late last night I slew my wife, Stretched her on the parquet flooring
  I was loath to take her life, But I had to stop her snoring! -- Harry Graham...
• When my Dad came home last night, my mom fainted.
• Bart: He's great at pointing out everyone's foibles.
  Larry: Hey, how're ya doing. Ooh! Look at your hair!...