Related:

• George was over in England at a tea party, and was offerred a cup of tea by the English butler.
  The butler said "Here, we serve three types of tea...
• My ritual differs slightly. What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower stall.
  Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of while he showers....
• What I do, first thing [in the morning], is I hop into the shower stall.
  Then I hop right back out, because when I hopped in I landed barefoot right on top of See Threepio, a little plastic robot character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of while he showers....
• My dad's a writer. His favorite expression is: "The pen is mightier than the sword," which I believed for a long time.
  Until I moved into the city. And I got into a fight with this guy....
• Lisa: [breathlessly] Mom, Dad: Mr. Burns is a vampire, and he has Bart!
  Burns: Why, Bart is right here. Bart: [droning] Hello, Mother....
• Bring me to the test, And I the matter will re-word
  which madness Would gambol from. Mother, for love of grace, Lay not that flattering unction to your soul....
• On a sidewalk near Portland State University someone wrote `Trust Jesus', and someone else wrote `But Cut the Cards'.
• Home is where you wear your hat. I feel so break up: I want to go home -- Lord John Whorfi