Related:

• My mother says to look for a man who is kind....That's what I'll do.
  ...I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome....
• My father used to tell me, "When Abraham Lincoln was your age, Abraham Lincoln had a job.
  When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked twelve miles to get to school....
• Lisa: Hi, Mom. Marge: Lisa! Hello. How are you doing in England?
  Remember, an elevator is called a "lift", a mile is called a "kilometer", and botulism is called "steak and kidney pie"....
• My mother invented me. My father denies!
• They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down.
  ..It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values....
• B: Well, I'll tell you. I just got myself a paramour.
  A: A paramour??? At your age??? B: Sure. Why not at my age?...
• McCoy: "Captain Kirk, meet my father. He's Dad, Jim.
• Marge: Kids, your father and I are going through a really tough time right now, and I don't know what's going to happen.
  But just remember both your Mom and your Dad love you very, very much....
• Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
  Marge: [Wearily] Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa....