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• My name is Marshall Teller, and I've learned an important lesson about Reality.
  In this life you can either follow the script they give you, or demand a rewrite....
• As we walked deeper and deeper into that musty old house, I kept asking myself - Marshall, why are you such a bone head.
  -- Marshall, "The Dead Letter", Eerie Indiana...
• I guess the rule is, if something's too good to be true, then it's probably too good to be true.
  -- Marshall, The ATM Machine, Eerie Indiana...
• I stayed up all night learning my line.
  -- Julie Condra/Syndi, "Reality Takes a Holiday", Eerie Indiana...
• Coming up: our definitive answer to the JFK assassination, the Iran contra coverup, the cure for the common cold, and our hidden videotape of Madonna's torrid affair.
  .." -- Anchorman, "Zombies in PJs", Eerie Indiana...
• Mummy: "What did you say this projector in a bottle is called?
  Marshall: "Television." Mummy: "Truly dreadful invention....
• My brain is the most important thing about me, but look what told me tha
• Just when you think you have a handle on how weird Eerie is during the day, the whole town does a bellyflop at night.
  -- Marshall, "Zombies in P.J.s", Eerie Indiana...
• Eerie, Indiana. The Last Testament of Marshall Teller.
  I had come to the end of the line. Hunted. Lost....