Related:

• A man was late for work. "What's the idea of being late?
  asked the boss. "Well, the alarm clock woke up everybody but me this morning....
• We prefer the old-fashioned alarm clock to the kind that awakens you with soft music or a gentle whisper.
  If there's one thing we can't stand early in the morning, it's hypocrisy. -- Bill Vaugha...
• I could never sleep my way to the top / 'Cause my alarm clock always wakes me right up.
  -- They Might Be Giants -- Hey, Mr D.J., I Thought You Said We Had a Deal...
• It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born.
  This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money....
• This morning, we in the San Francisco Bay area were treated to about eight earthquakes.
  The first was at about 6:30, the next at about 6...
• This tagline has an alarm and is invisibly identified!
• Warning: TAGLINE THEFT ALARM IN USE.
• When you're on a sleeper at night, take your pocketbook and put it in a sock under your pillow.
  That way, the next morning you won't forget your pocketbook 'cause you'll be looking for your sock....
• Every morning is a Smirnoff morning.