May You Always Have Someone To Share Your Bed And Board
May you always have someone to share your bed and board: mice, lice,
rats, gnats, bedbugs, and fleas.
May you be known for you hospitality to God's creature
lice, rats, bedbugs, fleas, worms, maggots....
May you never have healthy mice in the house.
You may be redneck... if your entertainment is shooting rats at the dump.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
You may be redneck... if you share your beer with your dog.
May you spend eternity pissing your bed.
How many mice -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 1, but you have to cut a hole in the skirting board for it to get in....
Rats: mice with extremely bad attitudes.