Related:

• I hope you'll think this is funny. A man calls an undertaker and says, "You better make arrangements for a funeral.
  My wife passed away." The undertaker says, "You must be drunk....
• Success goes to your head, failure to your heart.
• My father is credit manager at a funeral home. His bosses have a card that they hand out.
  It says Thank You for Smoking -- Your local undertaker....
• Liberal: It's society's failure that caused your shit to Happen.
• Warning: Conscience Failure! You're on your own.
• Come forth into the light of things and let nature be your teacher. -- William Wordsworth
• An undertaker calls a son-in-law: "About your mother-in-law, should we embalm her, cremate her, or bury her?
  He says, "Do all three. Don't take chances." -- Myron Cohe...
• Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.
  -- Winston Churchill...