Related:

• This is Dr. Ruth, Sexually Speaking, you're on the air.
  .. -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• In a bored voice:) Heaven, God speaking... the answers NO!
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
  Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO....
• Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks they dialed long distance.
  ) -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• You just dialed into the North American Air Defense Contract Center.
  Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination of incoming bogey....
• The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• Kemosabe no in tipi now. You leave'um message after little smoke signal, and Kemosabe get back for pow-wow real fast.
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• Sherwood Forest. Which dear do you want? -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio