Related:

• Life is like a penis: when it's soft you can't beat it, and when it's hard you get fucked.
• A woman is like a highway: soft shoulders and dangerous curves.
• Pudding without raisins is no pudding at all.
• I don't know where you magic pixies came from...but I like your pixie drink!
  [drinks some squishy] -- Barney to Milhouse and Bart, "Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood...
• All my life, I have searched for a car that feels a certain way.
  Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball....
• Committee work is like a soft chair - easy to get into but hard to get out of.
• Men should be like Kleenex; soft, strong and disposable. -- Mrs. White, _Clue_