Related:

• Sir, please help me get his coat off. (feebly) Leave it, Baldrick.
  ..it doesn't matter. Yes, it does. Blood's hell to shift - I want to get it in soap....
• Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you into long strips and telling the Prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?
  -- Edmund : Duel and Duality...
• I have a headache today, leave me alone.
• Windows: If I'd *wanted* a Mac, I would have *bought* one!
• I die...I hope men will say of me that I did duty by my country.
  I think that's pretty unlikely, sir. If I were you I'd try for something a bit more realistic....
• I'm afraid the duel is off. Off? As in 'sod'. -- Edmund and George : Duel and Duality
• I was in a coach, flying through the London night, bound for the ladies' home.
  .. Oh...and which ladies' home is this? A Home for the Elderly, or a Home for the Mentally Disadvantaged?...
• I'd only just put it there. But now, I will leave it there forever.
  ...Quite so, Baldrick. It can be your lucky willy. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Bell...
• I found it particularly ironic, my lord, because I've got a thingy that's shaped like a turnip!
  ...I'm a great use at parties. Are you. Yes...I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children....