Related:

• Woman on Street: Sir, you are drunk; very, very drunk.
  Winston Churchill: Madame, you are ugly; very, very ugly. I shall be sober in the morning....
• Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill
  Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober....
• Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.
  Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it....
• Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
  --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it....
• Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
  In war, you can only be killed once. -- Sir Winston Churchill...
• After a heated argument on some trivial matter Nancy [Astor] .
  . . shouted, "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee!...
• Braddock:] Mr Churchill, you are drunk. [Churchill
  ] And you madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober tomorrow....
• Waiter: How did you find your steak, sir? Diner: Quite by accident.
  I moved a few peas, and there it was....