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• My BIOLOGICAL ALARM CLOCK just went off.. It has noiseless DOZE FUNCTION and full kitchen!
  ! -- Zippy the Pinhead...
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you regularly sit up and stare at your (ringing (loudly!
  )) alarm clock thinking, "I can't shut it off because if I do the error message will scroll off the screen and then I won't be able to figure out what went wrong....
• I could never sleep my way to the top / 'Cause my alarm clock always wakes me right up.
  -- They Might Be Giants -- Hey, Mr D.J., I Thought You Said We Had a Deal...
• If any invention marks the decline of human civilization, I think it would have to be the snooze alarm.
  The snooze alarm is based on the idea that when the alarm goes off, you are not getting up....
• She has an alarm clock and a phone that don't ring - they applaud.
• One's roommate (who has early classes) has an alarm clock that is louder than God's own.
• A man was late for work. "What's the idea of being late?
  asked the boss. "Well, the alarm clock woke up everybody but me this morning....
• I wanna grow up, to be a FidoNet Sysop, and run my own BBS!