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• We wonder if a member of Congress with a pair of horny secretaries could be accused of double-dipping.
• Excuse me, Sir, said a surveyor to a person in the street, I am a surveyor and I wonder if you could please help me by holding this measuring tape for a second or two.
  In most cases the stranger would oblige. And the surveyor, who was Horace de Vere Cole, an arch-joker during the 1920s would go around the corner to ask another person to hold the other end of the tape....
• Brief History Of Linux (#8) Let's all holler for Hollerith In 1890 the US Congress wanted to extend the census to collect exhaustive demographic information on each citizen that could be resold to marketing companies to help pay for the newly installed gold-plated toilets on Capitol Hill.
  Experts estimated that the 1890 Census wouldn't be completed until 1900....
• Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down. -- Chazal
• A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some time, subsisting on scraps and occasional handouts from the bartender.
  One evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Gabe through the back door....
• Don't worry, I could go on all night! Not with a bayonet through your neck, you couldn't.
  -- Baldrick and Edmund : Goodbyeee......
• Edna: Go away, Bart, this is not a good time. Ba
  I saw you two fighting...I'm worried there could be a strike and the school would shut down....
• If words could speak, I wonder what they'd say.
• I just bought a Cured Ham, I wonder what it had ??