Related:

• Skinner: Looks like you got an enemy, Chief. You know, folks here don't much care for law and order types.
  Wiggum: [picks the skull up with a pencil] Is that right?...
• How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
  -- Woody Alle...
• Guru Saj: You must be Ross. Ross: Hi. Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj.
  (takes the drawer back and replaces) Ross: Listen, I got to tell you I_ve-I_ve never been to a guru before, so....
• I(ve) B(een) M(islead)
• There is a special department of Hell for students of probability.
  In it there are an infinite number of monkeys and typewriters....
• The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs. -- G.B. Shaw
• When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least one of the following
  (a) A pen or pencil or typewriter. (b) Stationery....
• Hale Mail Rule, The: When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least one of the following
  (a) A pen or pencil or typewriter. (b) Stationery....
• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...