Related:

• I got fired from my job as an M&M proof reader, I kept eating the W&W.
• QOTD: "I used to go to UCLA, but then my Dad got a job.
• I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I got a job--looking for one. I been out of work so long I forgot what kind of work I'm out of.
  -- Robin Harri...
• I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane.
  They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coathanger. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I used to have a drinking problem. Now I love the stuff.
• Beergut? Nah, I just got pregnant before I started drinking.
• Marge: Cheer up, Homie. Homer: I just feel terrible about getting Mr.
  Smithers fired. That job was all he had. Imagine how _you'd_ feel Marge if you got fired from the....