Related:

• We're all sitting in the same boat: I fish, you row.
• A retired dentist who loves to fish. "Open wide," he mutters to the unseen fish as he waits for a tug on the line.
  Now bite down. This may sting just a little bit....
• Before I started working here I drank, smoked, and used foul language for no reason at all.
  But thanks to this job, I now have a reason....
• When I was young, I kissed my first woman, and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.
  Believe me, never since have I wasted any more time on tobacco. -- Alfred Toscanini...
• You have taught me the fear of becoming lost, which has killed the pleasure of curiosity and discovery.
  In strange cities, I memorize streets and always know exactly where I am....
• This put me in mind of a story i have long enjoyed, but never known the source of.
  A young man went to Socrates and asked to be taught....
• I want to show you an optimistic sign that things are beginning to turn around.
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle trying to convince reporters that the economy was doing better because a Burger King had a 'now hiring' sign in the window....
• I used to have a job in the Kotex factory. I thought I was makin' mattresses for mice.
  -- Ray Sco...
• Except for that, I planned a political simulator that forecast the two World Wars after I entered all the relevant data until the year 1000 AD.
  "Do you have a computer at home?" "Oh no. At present the program is written on a paper....