Related:

• Hors d'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces. -- Jack Benny
• Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.
  -- Jack Benny, in _The New York Times_...
• I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. -- Jack Benny
• I really don't deserve this, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
  -- Jack Benny (1894-1974), upon receiving an award...
• My husband forgot my birthday and my anniversary. I didn't feel bad.
  On the contrary. Give me a guilty husband any day....
• Benny Hill: The master of the single entendre.
• I Love Wills: Benny Fishery
• Is he Dead Yet?" by Benny Fishery
• Sintetos's First Law of Consumerism: A 60-day warranty guarantees that the product will self-destruct on the 61st day.