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• Hell, we don't even drive trucks anymore. We drive simple little Japanese cars with air bags.
  In the old days we used to rip out the seat belts and fly through the windshield ready for action....
• I think the death of macho is easily located on a very recent map.
  -- Denis Leary from "Are you Man enough?...
• DIET: meat, cigarettes, meat, booze, meat, and coffee.
  In case of aneurysm or alcohol-induced coma, see "HEALTH....
• Seals are very intelligent animals. They've probably thought of defending themselves.
  Only one problem: no hands. They're sitting on the beach, getting whomped on the head, going...
• HEALTH: Never go to the hospital or visit a doctor.
  If you have a stroke, keep drinking and act like you prefer to use only one side of your body....
• DRINKING: No falling down. No puking-unless to empty the stomach in order to continue drinking.
  No slurring of words. Tell a few war stories: "See that scar?...
• Macho is a very slippery thing. You don't read about it, you don't write about it, you don't even know the correct spelling of the word.
  In a vain attempt to keep some semblance of masculinity, I didn't research the roots of the word while writing this article, but I can only assume that "macho" comes from "machismo," which sounds a hell of a lot like machine....
• You eat enough meat, you want to kill somebody. That's the way it works!! -- Denis Leary
• Marge: Look, maybe this whole thing will blow over.
  [helicopters swoop over the house; news vans pull up] Home...