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• George Washington said to his father, "If I never tell a lie, how can I get to be President?
  -- Red Butto...
• As near as I can tell you're not any crazier than the average asshole on the street -- Ken Kesey via R.
  P. McMurphy "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Ne...
• I stumbled over a stone and took it for granite.
• I got tired of listening to the recording on the phone at the movie theater.
  So I bought the album. I got kicked out of a theater the other day for bringing my own food in....
• IF I hit the red key is the world over?
• I saw "Lassie". It took me four shows to figure out why the hairy kid never spoke.
  I mean, he could roll over and all that, but did that deserve a series?...
• Wavering flight over the depths. No blame.
• A statistician refuses to fly after reading the alarmingly high probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane.
  Later he finds that the probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low....
• This ship is two big... If I walk, the movie would be over!