Related:

• I gave all my forms to Sudhir. Then he came back and yelled in my ear, "Nothing went through, and its all cause of you, if you get it right once, I will cheer!
• Didja hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
• Troy: [voiceover] When Homer sold his soul for a donut, he found Hell isn't all it's cracked up to be in these never-before broadcast scenes.
  [a demon selects Homer's head from several and grips it] [he rolls it down an alley as Homer's head screams] [it hits the spiked pins and breaks open, revealing a note...
• My boy is mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.
  Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back....
• Bart: [sighs] I wasted five bucks on these. Lisa: Where'd you get five bucks?
  I want five bucks. Bart: Aw, I sold my soul to Milhouse?...
• I told my doctor I wanted to stop aging. He gave me a gun!
• At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul.
  At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore....
• I had a brand-new Mercury. I loaned it to my brother last week.
  I said, "Treat it as if it was your own." He sold it. -- Jimmy Edmondson (Professor Backwards)...