Related:

• Hello. Incontinence hotline..can you hold please?
• HIBBERT THE BUILDER (1823-1860) St Hibbert made it into Sainthood City by building some of the most impressive cathedrals of the 19th century.
  Unfortunately it was realised later that many had structural defects, and by 1910, they had all collapsed of their own accord....
• One score and seven years ago, your fathers brought forth Incontinence, a new notion, conceived by Libertines and dedicated to the Propositio
  All men, when procreating, are equal. But in a practical sense, we could not dissipate, we could not copulate, we could not wallow on this ground....
• COMPUTER An electronic device designed to make you rip your hair out.
  The principles of a computer are very simple. You give the computer some data as input, it messes, mixes, scrambles and screws up the data until it is nonsensical and unrecognisable, and then it spits it out the other end as output....
• BED A horizontally positioned, generally soft, piece of furniture where people go to sleep.
  Apart from this, a bed can be used for... reading in....
• MADNESS A condition that can drive people to buy albums by a Minogue in the mistaken belief that they contain any display of talent.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• ANT A small insect, about as big as an ant. Ants are known to inhabit anywhere there's food left lying around, especially foods containing sugar or other sweet substances.
  Consequently, ants suffer large amounts of tooth decay, since none of the major toothbrush manufacturers have seen fit to produce a toothbrush a suitable size for ants....
• NEWT One of those really small beasties that annoys little kids because they're too small to step on.
  I dunno though - if you were flying along and got caught in the downward air-draught of a descending foot, it'd do serious damage, wouldn't it?...