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• TREE, n. A tall vegetable intended by nature to serve as a penal apparatus, though through a miscarriage of justice most trees bear only a negligible fruit, or none at all.
  When naturally fruited, the tree is a beneficient agency of civilization and an important factor in public morals....
• You may be redneck... if your Christmas tree has a deer stand in it.
• I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today.
  Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. -- Steven Wrigh...
• George Washington, father of our country. George Washington, when he was just a child, just a boy, honesty was his trademark.
  The classic story we all remember was when George Washington's father came up to George and said, "George Washington--father of our country--my son--I want to ask you a question....
• Tis the voice of the Lobster: I heard him declare "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.
  As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes....
• A traveling salesman was driving past a farm when he saw a pig with three wooden legs executing a magnificent series of backflips and cartwheels.
  Intrigued, he drove up to the farmhouse, where he found an old farmer sitting in the yard watching the pig....
• Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.
• Brief History Of Linux (#19) Boy meets operating system The young Linus Torvalds might have been just another CompSci student if it wasn't for his experiences in the Univ.
  of Helsinki's Fall 1990 Unix & C course. During one class, the professor experienced difficulty getting Minix to work properly on a Sun box....
• Men do not live by the mind, you say? I have withdrawn those who do.
  The mind is impotent, you say? I have withdrawn those whose minds aren't....