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• Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step. -- Don McLea
• I lay my head on the railroad tracks, Waitin' for the double E.
  The railroad don't run no more. Poor poor pitiful me....
• When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise.
  She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder....
• I just met this girl Marge Bouvier and I want to force her to like me.
  -- Homer visits the school guidance counselor, "The Way We Wa...
• Did you hear about the girl who was so undesirable that she even turned her vibrator off.
• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....
• Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him...
• I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• She is not fair to outward view As many maidens be
  Her loveliness I never knew Until she smiled on me. -- Hartley Coleridge...