Related:

• Those preflight safety instructions: "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device.
  Folks, if we're crashing, my seat cushion's gonna be used as a toilet! -- Tom Park...
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• Q: How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
  A: A nurse says: "This won't hurt a bit." A schoolteacher say...
• Mohammad Ali was on the plane and it was about to take off.
  The stewardess came by and said "Please fasten your seatbelt!...
• Moishe Margolies, who weighed all of 105 pounds and stood an even five feet in his socks, was taking his first airplane trip.
  He took a seat next to a hulking bruiser of a man who happened to be the heavyweight champion of the world....
• I'm on a plane and it hits me: When did it become a federal regulation that you have to have at least seven crying babies on every flight?
  I just want to know: Where are they going? Why are they on planes?...
• Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty.
  I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, "Is someone sitting there?...