Related:

• I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today.
  Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I began many years ago, as so many young men do, in searching for the perfect woman.
  I believed that if I looked long enough, and hard enough, I would find her and then I would be secure for life....
• I think my family tree is a few branches short!
• I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out.
• My family tree is in the forest, somewhere!
• I looked up at her and asked how much is that gonna cost?
• Am I dying or is this my birthday?" (When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
  ) ~~ Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964...
• I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is getting better.