Am I Dying Or Is This My Birthday?" (When She Woke Briefly During Her Last Illness And Found All Her Family Around Her Bedside.

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• Am I dying or is is this my birthday?
  --Lady Nancy Witcher Langhorne Astor, member of British parliament, 1879-1964...
• Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee.
  Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it....
• I married beneath me. All women do. -- Lady Nancy Asto
• Tact: Recalling a lady's birthday but forgetting her age.
• Lisa: [shielding her eyes from the light; wobbly] What's happening?
  Where am I?? Helen: And she's on drugs!...
• Her lies my wife, let her rest She is peaceful and quiet and its best For when she is not talking and such I am able to enjoy the day very much If she will stay here
  let her be If you disturb her, you'll see....
• Joe sat as his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper.
  "Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make before I go....
• I have a newspaper clipping at home where a guy breaks into the home of a bedridden, invalid old lady.
  She is powerless to resist him, but when he comes into her bedroom he becomes intrigued by the cluster of medicine bottles on her bedside table....
• The sky was dark, the moon was high All alone just she and I Her hair was sof
  her eyes were blue I knew just what she wanted to do Her skin so soft, her legs so fine I ran my fingers down her spine I didn't know how but I tried my best I started by placing my hands on her breast I remember my fear, my fast beating heart But slowly she spread her legs apart And when I did it I felt no shame All at once - the white stuff came At last it's finished, it's all over now My first time ever at milking a cow....