Related:

• No matter which side of an argument you're on, you always find some people on your side that you wish were on the other side.
  -- Jascha Heifetz...
• A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. -- Robert Fro
• Inconstitencies of opinion which may arise from time to time due to contingencies which may not be anticipated are often justifiable except when you do them
  ince for you, consistency requires that you be as dumb today as you were yesterday and the day before that....
• This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side.
  I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them....
• Homer: Hey Herman, I had to come out here to see what's so funny.
  [gasps] A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my car hole!...
• Bart: I...should have known you were too smart to fall for that.
  Bob: Really? What type of smart? Book smart? Because there are a lot of people who are book smart but it takes a special type of genius to -- Wiggum...
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• gedanken /g*-dahn'kn/ adj. Ungrounded; impractical
  ot well-thought-out; untried; untested. `Gedanken' is a German word for `thought'....
• Homer: Shame on all of you. Give me my dignity! I just came here to see "Honk If You're Horny" in peace.
  Manager: Sir, if you'd just quiet down, I'd be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn....