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• If God exists, why did he allow Nazis?" "How should I know?
  I don't even know how the can opener works." -- Woody Allen, "Hannah and her Siste...
• If Jesus came back today, and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
  -- Max Von Sydow's character in Woody Allen's Hannah and Her Siste...
• Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again.
  God -- I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again....
• Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again.
  God -- I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. -- Woody Allen, "Hannah and Her Siste...
• What's wrong with the sketch?" "Child molestation is a touchy subject.
  "Read the papers, half the country is doing it!" "Yes, but you name names....
• I was the best I ever had. -- Woody Alle
• She got drunker, and drunker... and then she became Joan Collins! -- Hannah and Her Siste
• I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox. -- Woody Alle