Related:

• Beauty is in the heart of the beholder. -- Al Bernstei
• If you want your name spelled wrong, die. -- Al Blanchard
• George Washington, father of our country. George Washington, when he was just a child, just a boy, honesty was his trademark.
  The classic story we all remember was when George Washington's father came up to George and said, "George Washington--father of our country--my son--I want to ask you a question....
• FIRST HEAD: Oh! quick! get the sword out I want to cut his head off.
  THIRD HEAD: Oh, cut your own head off. SECOND HEAD...
• Marge: You will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.
  Homer: Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your own allowance....
• Is Al Gore really Al Gore or just his evil twin Skippy?
• Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done. -- Al Bernstei
• Marge: A tattoo? Homer: A what? Bart: Yeah, they're cool, and they last for the rest of your lives.
  Marge: You will <not> be getting a tattoo for Christmas....
• Peg: "Is that money in your pants, Al, or are you just.
  ..well, let's face it, we both know it's money....