Related:

• Homer: [receives a sweepstakes junk mail with a `You may have already won' check] One million dollars!
  I'm rich! [rushes to the bank] Teller: Mr....
• If at first you don't succeed, sue for 5 million dollars.
• You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.
• You look like a million dollars. All in loose change.
• AND NOW A WORD FROM THE PENTAGON To all those sissy wimps who don't want a war - remember what we're talking about here!
  What about all the oil we won't be able to pollute the atmosphere with if we don't liberate Kuwait?...
• Noble, aristocratic voice:) Yes, one million dollars COULD be yours, IF you leave your name, telephone number, and the reason WHY you want to join the ranks of The Rich and Famous!
  If this is Ross Perot, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, or Princess Di, just leave your VISA number and expiration date, and we will definitely get back to you!...
• Those commercials about weight loss you see on television must be true.
  I heard about one lady who lost 187 pounds of ugly fat....