Related:

• If the cats could figure out how to work the can opener, they would have the locks changed while we were out.
• Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it.
  Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors....
• Tin openers are rare indeed.
• CAUTION! Evolution can be hazardous to your ego.
• I was asked if I would feed my neighbor's dog while they went on vacation.
  Innocently enough I said I would do it. I had no idea that cats were so darned hard to catch....
• Big cats can kill you!
• If dogs had catapults, would cats be safe in trees?
• CATS ARE IT!
• Some girls can reverse the process of evolution - They make monkeys out of men.