If someone told me it wasn't "fashionable" to talk about freedom,

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• When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all,
  I think a good way to get out of it is just to say...
• Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half?
  Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard...
• Duncan [Phoebe's Husband]: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this.
  I'm straight. Phoebe: Huuh. Duncan: Yeah, I know...
• I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free.
  To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand...
• The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat.
  And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat...
• Something better... 1 (obvious): Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
  2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover. She's going...
• I think there should be something in science called the "reindeer effect." I don't know what it would be,
  but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen...
• Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger.
  He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone...
• Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy",
  because I would have liked to stand up in class and...