Related:

• If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. -- Woody Alle
• Infactuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners.
  Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway....
• God is silent," he was fond of saying, "now if we can only get Man to shut up." -- Woody Alle
• You think you're God!" "Well, I gotta model myself after somebody!" -- Woody Allen, "Manhatta
• If God exists, why did he allow Nazis?" "How should I know?
  I don't even know how the can opener works." -- Woody Allen, "Hannah and her Siste...
• You are the greatest lover I have ever had." "Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.
  -- Woody Allen, "Love and Death...
• I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats.
  -- Woody Allen, on the KKK...
• What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God".
  "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God....
• What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God.
  "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears....