Related:

• My gray hairs can beat your gray hairs.
• Homer's new German boss wants to chat with him. Ho
  Homer, could ve have a word with you? Homer: No. Ho...
• Horst: Homer, could ve have a word with you? Home
  No. Horst: I must have phrased that badly. My English is, how you say, inelegant....
• I got a job as a short-order cook. I was cooking a chicken on the rotisserie
  I was turning the wheel and I was singing "Arrivederci, Roma," and a drunk came by and he said, "You got a nice voice but your monkey's on fire....
• I love you for your beauty; love me although I am ugly. -- Miguel de Cervantes, "Don Quixote
• I can smell my nose hairs.
• I(ve) B(een) M(islead)
• I 've stood upon Achilles' tomb, And heard Troy doubted
  ime will doubt of Rome. -- Lord Byron (1788-1824) -- Don Juan, Canto iv, Stanza 101...
• I died for your sins, and all I got was this lousy button.