Related:

• CELSIUS, ANDERS (1701-44) Swedish astronomer. At the age of 25
  he had a raging argument with best friend Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit (1686-1736) when he claimed that Fahrenheit's system of measuring temperature was completely fucked, and that he could design a better system whilst standing on his head blindfolded in a bucket of lard....
• QWERTY Type of keyboard designed to slow the typist down and confuse people who are learning to type.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• KETTLE Device designed to heat up water, whistle just too quietly for you to hear when it's finished, boil dry, explode and burn your house down.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• GAS What liquid turns into if you boil it. The basis for Kernigan's Third Law.
  Kernigan's Five Laws of children's science TV programmes are as follow...
• GENERATION, OLDER The people that don't understand you. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• GENERATION, YOUNGER The people that you don't understand. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• NEIGHBOUR One of those people you occasionally smile at when walking down the stree
  but rarely develop such a bond with that they are concerned when your burglar alarm goes off when you're on holiday....
• Do you think the service station could sell me Midnight Oil?
  Well no, but they did sell me ice Then to the Optometrist for R....
• FREUD, SIGMUND (1856-1939) Austrian gynaecologist and founder of psychoanalysis.
  And a down-right pervvy. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...