How Many Ping Pong Players -- Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

How many contrabassoon players -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to hold the bulb and the other four to figure out the fingerings....
How many lexicographers -- does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it and one to protest that he should have changed it to "light bulb"....
How many bureaucrats -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five - one to change the light bulb and the other four to fill out the Environmental Impact Statement....
How many flute players -- does it to take to change a light bulb?
5, one to change the bulb, one to pull the ladder out from under her, and three to bitch about how much better they would have done it....
How many Columbia students -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Seventy-six, one to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest....
How many sax players -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Michael Brecker would have done it....
How many Dead-Heads -- does it take to change a light bulb?
10,001..... One to change the light bulb and 10,000 to follow the burnt-out one!!...
How many lawyers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one to change your bulb to his bulb....
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only it's his light bulb when he's done....