Related:

• If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you just don't understand the problem.
  -- Evans' Law...
• If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then you clearly don't understand the situation.
• If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, obviously you must be the headsman.
• If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you'll be the tallest person in the room.
• If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you must be at least a foot shorter than them.
• If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, perhaps you have misunderstood the situation.
  GRAFFITI...
• If you can keep your head while those about you are losing theirs, consider an exciting career as a guillotine operator!
• Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
  Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!...
• Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
  Worry no more... When are you going to grow up?...