Related:

• Marge: Now wait a minute, I'm not sure about this. Every time we've ever gone on vacation I end up being horribly embarrassed.
  We end up in a big fight and we come home more miserable than when we left....
• Homer: Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this.
  Bart: Dad, you punish me, but that means you have to think of a punishment, sit here and make sure I do it....
• Bart: Looks like I've got me a genuine glow-in-the-dark police badge!
  [hunts through the box of cereal] Hey, it's not in here....
• Lisa: Dad, remember how you said going to Itchy and Scratchy Land would be too damned expensive?
  Homer: Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days....
• Homer: Hey, Marge. You wanna hear something funny?
  Flanders thinks I swear too much! Hee-hee!...
• Homer: _That's_ what ballet is? [whining] Oh -- Marge
  You promised! You can't back out like when you volunteered for that Army experiment to avoid dinner at my sisters'....
• Lisa: [spraying the Christmas tree] Mom, this fake snow is making me dizzy.
  Marge: We're almost finished. There's just a little bit of green left....
• Oh, `no attitude,' eh? Not `in your face,' huh? Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly!
  -- Homer Simpson The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show...
• Bart: Hey Dad, can you move your head? Homer: No, I can't.
  It's broken... -- Is it in a cast? "Itchy and Scratchy and Marge...