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• I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. -- Steven Wrigh
• I've got some powdered water, but I don't know what to add. -- Stephen Wrigh
• Know you of such a bird? No...but we could _make_ one.
  .. No, we _couldn't_, Baldrick...Oh, I suppose you have to be told some- time....
• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. -- Stephen Wrigh
• I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money.
  They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." -- Stephen Wrigh...
• These three comments above came from Penthouse Magazine, I am told on reliable authority.
  What do you get from Penthouse? Bad bird jokes, it appears....
• I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is.
  Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that....
• A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. -- Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616) -- Don Quixote, Part i, Book iv, Chap.
  iv...