8) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim." --Paula Poundstone
Related:
- When my mom got really mad, she would say, "Your butt is my meat.
Not a particularly attractive phrase. And I always wondered, "Now, what wine goes with that?... - A lady lost her cat, and took the cat in a little casket up to a big church
and said, "I want you to bury my cat.
And they run her off. She went to another church, and they run her off.... - I've tried to drown my sorrows, but those suckers learned how to swim!
- I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how.... - Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness,
feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?... - On this morning in August when I was 13, my mother sent us out pick
tomatoes.
Back in April I'd have killed for a fresh tomato, but in August they are no more rare or wonderful than rocks.... - I live just off Ventura Boulevard, where all the weirdos hang ou
and I was on a corner the other day when a wild-looking sort of gypsy-looking lady with a dark veil over her face grabbed me right on Ventura Boulevard and said, "Karen Haber!... - Asked how she felt being the first woman to make a major-league team
he said, "Like a pig in mud," or words to that effect, and then turned and released a squirt of tobacco juice from the wad of rum soaked plug in her right cheek.... - Marge: All right, all right, but if you win, don't make a
scene and dance around with your "woo-hoo"s, please!
We can't afford a single slipup. They're judging us....
