Related:

• Close only counts,in horseshoes, and atomic attack
• She was so ugly that I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
• This from Air & Space/Smithsonian magazine: The three-letter airport identifier for Sioux City, Iowa, under attack by state officials, will be changed.
  The Federal Aviation Administration has agreed that SUX is an unacceptable abbreviation for the facility....
• Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies ** During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
  ** When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other....
• Temporarily out of tag lines.....
• This tagline temporarily out of service.
• Secretary Regan didn't like the federal rescue of that big Illinois bank, but finally decided that in this case FDIC meant further debate is crazy.
• Tagline dispenser temporarily out of order.
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....