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Sign In A Science Teacher's Room: "If It Moves, It's Biology.
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Sign in a science teacher's room: "If it moves, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics."
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18 UNNATURAL LAWS 1. O'REILLY'S LAW OF THE KITCHEN Clenliness is next to impossible.
2. LIEBERMAN'S LAW Everybody lies; but it doesn' matter, since nobody listens....
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.
CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY ENTRANCE EXAMINATION INSTRUCTIONS
Read each question carefully. Answer all questions....
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are horny and will screw you next.
What is the difference between Bike and a women?...
Qualifying Examination Instructions: Read each question carefully.
Answer all ques- tions. Time Limit - 4 hours. Begin immediately....
Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
BEFORE I CAME TO COLLEGE I WISH I HAD KNOWN... - that it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class I'd sleep right through it - that I would change so much and barely realize it - that you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways - that college kids throw airplane
oo - that if you wear polyester everyone will ask you why you're so dressed up - that every clock on campus shows a different time - that if you were smart in high school - so what?...