Related:

• I always tell the truth. Even if I have to lie to do it.
• George Washington and The Cherry Tree... George? Yes, father?
  George, I have a very serious question to ask you and I want you to promise you'll answer truthfully....
• COMPUTER TERMS for REDNECKS: BACKUP -- What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
  BAR CODE -- Them's the fight'n rules down to the local tavern....
• Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
• Snow White has been thrown out of Fairyland. She was caught sitting on Pinnocchio's face shouting, 'Lie you little sod, lie!
  !'...
• REDNECK COMPUTER TERMS BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer FAX - What you lie about to the IRS HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test ROM - Where the pope lives SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE?
  It's free! Just send a message to oracle-humor-subscribe@lyris....
• propagation delay: gestation period rise time: interval between pay increases flip-flop
  unpopular reverse side of hit record exclusive-OR...
• RESIGNATION AS AN ADULT... I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
  I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again....
• It helps if you plug it in.