Never Eat More Than You Can Lift.
Never eat more than you can lift.
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
Never eat anything that winks at you.
Windows 3.0: More holes than you can count.
Signs That Were Found In Peoples Kitchens: ** A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious.
** No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes....
Mother Superior: "Sister Maria, if you walk through town at night, and you're accosted by a man with bad intentions, what would you do?
Sister Maria: "I would lift my habit, mother Superior....
dogs vs. women HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE Both look stupid in hats.
Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting....
A: Hi I make more money than you can spend. B: Hi I'm leaving faster than you can comprehend.
You have to read the whole thing: The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time....
Why is sex better with sheep? They're always in the mood, never have a headache, and when you're done, you can eat them.