Related:

• A LADA on a highway is suddenly stopping. Closely behind is there a JAGUAR, which crashes on it.
  And behind, a ROLLS-ROYCE, which crashes on the JAGUAR....
• I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
• Letter to the Bank Manager Dear Bank Manager, I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.
  By my calculations some three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check, and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it....
• Not so famous quotes Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
  --Robin Williams Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself....
• From Real Resumes & Cover Letters: ** I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
  ** I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms....
• A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
  He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car....
• First Date Advice Things Not To Say On A First Date
  1. "This is my apartment, but don't break anything, or you'll have to pay for it....
• Random thoughts... ** Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.
  ** I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here ** When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!...
• As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strip
  -Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered....