Related:

• Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you.
  Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice....
• While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing), I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription work.
  I came across a book today called "The Empty Laugh Book" by the American Association for Medical Transcription, containing some of the funniest dictated and transcribed quotes from the world of medicine that I've ever encountered....
• A: Are you religious...cause I'm here to answer your prayers.
  B: Then answer the one where I pray for losers like you to get lost....
• It works better if you plug it in.
• A penny saved is ridiculous.
• But sad Eva saved a stub.
• A penny saved is a Congressional erro
• A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.