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• I refuse a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
• Half wits talk much but say little.
• Am I at Wits End, Or just stuck in my chair?
• I moved 2 in. - and am now at my wits' end.
• THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
  The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist....
• New Bumper stickers of the year 2000: ** You! Out of the gene pool!
  ** You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me ** Earth is full, go home ** I have the body of a god....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Q: Why were there only 5000 Mexicans at the battle of the Alamo? A: They only had four cars.