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• Spoken in a granny voice) "Way back inna winner of fifty-two, we didn' have fanshy gadjets like no ansherin' machine.
  You jusht had to call and call until shummbody got home....
• I didn't know fish HAD fingers !!!
• One day a lady was inside of an elevator and she had to fart really bad.
  She thought to herself, 'What am I going to do if someone comes in and smells it....
• Never had it, never will. Hell, I don't even know what 'it' is.
• After the third murder in as many months of residents of the fourth floor of the dormitory, Sherlock Holmes was called in the case.
  In each death the body of a student had been discovered the next morning crushed and covered with tire marks....
• Desqview!?! I can't even see the floor!
• Harold suspected his wife of playing around on the side, so one day he took the afternoon off and comes home extra early.
  He entered his apartment, which was on the 3rd floor, and started looking around....
• Don't cry darling, Daddy had to drown the cat." "Yes I know, but he promised I could do it.
• A tale of woe...by Poe? Or a vain attempt at literature by the computer semi-literate?
  Anonymous, with all apologies due to E. A. Poe Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, Systems manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, Still I sat there, doing spreadshee...