Related:

• Birds of prey know they're cool.
• Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
• If you have access to a two(or more) line phone, this is a great one, dial the first six numbers of your prey's phone number, and put that line on hold, then dial the other numbe
  a pizza place, or his girlfriend is good for starters, then escalate to college offices, activist terrorist organizations and the CIA are good from then on....
• Heaven Holds a Place for Those who Prey
• Pay phone calls in New York are going up to a quarter.
  If you don't mind waiting a few days for your cab, you can send a letter for a nickel less....
• I'll call you back, my call-waiting's beeping!
• A great trick I have gotten away with many a time requires a little preparation, simply to go to the grocery and get a few packages of Kool-Aid.
  Then while your 'prey' is away, simply spread it nice and liberally into his bed, best if done in stripes, to leave his body in different colors....
• I do not think you will accept my help, as I'm waiting to kill you.
• You Know It's Going to Be A Bad Day When: 1. You wake up face down on the pavement.
  2. You put your bra on backwards and it fits better....