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  Sci. teacher senior year of high school. We started this joke by getting into heated arguments for a week before the actual event and of course everything was building up a big head of steam....
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• Because I'm A Man... ** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
  ** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at....
• Q: What do you do when a Polock throws a grenade at you? A: You pull the pin and throw it back.
• Mommy Mommy, Can I play with Grandma? Shut up kid, You've already dug her up 3 times today!
  Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn. The sheeps in the meadow, the cows in the corn....
• See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.